I’ve lost count of how many colonoscopies I have had, I can’t remember them all. However, there is one that I will never forget, I even remember the date. It was Friday, November 13, 2009. That’s right, Friday the 13th. I’m not superstitious are anything, but it’s something I remember.
Leading up to this colonoscopy I had not been in great shape for some time, I could barely go anywhere, I wasn’t working. Life for the most part sucked. I was miserable. All my friends were traveling the world and living life and I was barely able to make it out of the bathroom.
I had been seeing a new GI doctor for about six months and he was being very thorough. He had me on the highest dose of Remicade possible and we were hoping it would help close my fistula. It opened right below my belly button so I had disgusting fecal matter leaking out of it whenever it wanted. It was this awful blow hole and it pretty much ruined my life for a long time. I have nightmares thinking about it.
It was finally time to do a colonoscopy so he could see what was going on. The goal is always to avoid surgery, and at this point I had only had one surgery, which was a total nightmare. I was all for avoiding surgery again (and still am). I prepped for the colonoscopy with the pills and it was the worst. I did a recap of preps if you want to hear about how much I hated the pills. Don’t ever do the pills. It’s not easier, it’s worse.
The day of the colonoscopy was pretty typical, nothing unusual. When I woke up in recovery the nurse told me that I was being sent for an x-ray. This is unusual, but I was still kind of groggy and didn’t really ask questions. I was taken down on my stretcher to radiology. When I got there I waited and waited and waited. They told me they were waiting for a female radiologist. Why would I need a female radiologist . . . oh this can’t be good.
A male radiologist came out to tell me what the exam was, he said it was a colorectography. Basically, it’s a typical CT scan EXCEPT they inject air through the rectum into your colon. What the what?! They told me it was necessary because my doctor couldn’t get the scope in during the colonoscopy. I reluctantly agreed (I now know I can say no and will refuse this test in the future).
I had to lay on my stomach on the CT bed while they inserted a tube to inject the air and it was extremely painful. THEN I had to lay still during the imaging process. They kept telling me to be still, but even if I understand what you are saying and the reasoning behind it, it doesn’t make it easier. As soon as they were done I hauled ass off the table (don’t forget I had been sedated earlier) and ran into the bathroom. There was blood everywhere, I didn’t even make it to the toilet.
I was still in so much pain by the time they brought me back to the GI lab. They brought my mom over to my stretcher and right at the moment she pulled back the curtain I started throwing up all over myself. Naturally this freaked my mother out and she turned to the nurses and asked what the hell did you do to my daughter!?
I was miserable and now I was thirsty and they wouldn’t let me drink anything because the doctor hadn’t given me the all clear, but they were paging him. I went to the bathroom and drank out of the faucet, I didn’t care. I had zero fucks to give.
My GI doctor at the time would make you go into his office after your procedure to talk to him, which I hated. Let me go home and go to sleep, this is torture. The news wasn’t good, my colon was in bad shape and that I needed to see a surgeon as soon as possible. I couldn’t really process any of this information, I was miserable and wanted to go home. I don’t think we got home until late afternoon, I probably showered and collapsed on my bed. I spent the whole weekend in bed curled up in the fetal position.
I now understand my patient rights and know that even if a doctor is insisting on a certain test/procedure I can always decline. No doctor has ever suggested I have this exam again and if they do I will most definitely tell them to take a hike.
I don’t want to scare anyone who is about to have a colonoscopy, I’ve had countless routine colonoscopies and felt fine afterwards. Typically you might be gassy and bloated afterwards, all you need to do is lay down and fart. Read my recap of what to expect for a typical colonoscopy here.