The first time I had a colostomy I was very quiet about it. I didn’t start talking about it until about a few months before I had it reversed. I never took a picture, and only told those that I was closest to.
The second time around (that’s right, I loved it so much I went back for seconds) I decided to embrace it a little bit more. Also, I had a little bit more confidence since I had turned to the online IBD community. When you have people cheering you on, it makes it a little easier.
I had jokingly told my mom that I would do a special photo shoot when I recovered from surgery. She went ahead and booked a session for me, I guess I didn’t have much of a choice. I was told not to starve myself before the photo shoot, empty stomachs can fill up with gas and become bloated. I had lunch with my mom at this great BBQ place right next to the studio in Wynwood, Pride and Joy. Amazing pork nachos!!
When I arrived at the studio they did my makeup and hair, and let me tell you, I don’t think I’ve ever worn that much makeup in my life. I wear very little day-to-day, and I’ve glammed up for special events, but this was intense. Later at night after I showered, it still took several make-up remover wipes to get everything off.
The photographer was super cool, I explained to her that I was here to take pictures showing off my colostomy. I’m not used to having my picture taken, I tend to make goofy faces when someone is taking a picture and I can’t take it seriously. Honestly, it annoys me when people take pictures of themselves staring off into the distance. You’re not that deep, look at the camera! It’s a picture, you’re not in a Sophia Coppola film pondering life.
The photographer guided me through everything, she told me how to pose, where exactly to place my hands, feet, etc. She would tell me when to laugh and when to look serious. When she said, now look serious/sultry not confused, I told her my confused look is my serious look. At first, I was a little timid, I was completely out of my element, but that was the point. It didn’t take me long to really get into it and have fun.
One of the photographers told me that he also has Crohn’s Disease and was impressed with what I was doing. Small world. We went through all the photos, I picked my favorites (but we purchased the whole package), and some were selected for finishing touches. I have the photoshopped files saved, I’ve never posted them. I thought it went against what I was trying to do. When I compared them to the unedited versions the changes weren’t that significant.
The next day I picked one photo from the 400 and shared it with my friends, family and the world (or my 1500 twitter followers). Everyone’s supportive comments were overwhelming. I’m not sure I can put that feeling into words. I took something that has been a black cloud, something that I’ve been ashamed of, and turned it into something fun and beautiful.
I think this is something anyone can relate to. We envy this perfect body image, and let’s be honest, it’s not real. These images of perfect stomachs that are plastered over the covers of magazines are shoved down our throats, so when we look in the mirror and see that we are different we feel ashamed or disappointed. I’m glad I don’t look like those models. I’m glad I’m different. It may have taken me awhile to get here, but I’m proud of my scars. They are proof of all the battles I have won and reminders of how strong I truly am.
I highly recommend that all women (not just women, guys too!) should do this at some point. You can look up studios on Groupon, that’s where I found Image 1st Miami. If you are in Miami, I highly recommend them. Great service!
I’ve shared a few of these on Twitter and Facebook over the last year, but here are a few of my favorites.
[…] thing to do is throw on a top and shorts. I bought the purple top pictured above at Wal Mart for my photo shoot two years ago. You can see it on the About Me page. I was lazy and didn’t change the wrap for […]