I managed to stay away from hospitals and doctors until I was 14 and the shit hit the fan, literally (GI puns are fun!). I had made it through middle school, girls are mean and it was awful, however, I wasn’t developing as one should at that age. People said I was anorexic behind my back, lovely. I ate, at least I think I did, not sure. I was barely a size 0 and about 85 pounds. A gust of wind could knock me over.
Towards the end of my 8th-grade year, I remember having to run to the bathroom all the time. One night I noticed blood in my stool, a lot of blood. There was no confusing it with my period this time. Wasn’t going to make that mistake again. I immediately told my mom and we went back to Miami Children’s Hospital to see the same pediatric GI I saw 5 years before. He didn’t recognize me at first, but once he saw my old photo in my file he remembered me.
My mom and I explained what was going on and he was concerned, no doubt about it. In fact, he told us that I need to have a colostomy the next day, he didn’t want to wait. If anyone is familiar with how scheduling procedures work, usually this happens over a few weeks. I had to go home (skip lunch and dinner) and start cleaning out my bowels for my second colonoscopy.
I would like to say I was a little more cooperative this time around when it came to drinking the prep. I wasn’t. I whined and made it worse by taking forever to finish drinking. Luckily this time I only had to drink two bottles and not a gallon. It was still awful. Not fun totally sucks. I wonder if Dick Cheney ordered bowel preps on prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.
I learned a few things going into my first colonoscopy as a teenager. Since I am a female of child-bearing age, I now must always do a pregnancy test before being sedated. They will not just take my word for it. Apparently, a few people have tried this and ruined it for the rest of us. Patients lie, I get it, they need proof. The thing is, after spending all night in the bathroom and not being able to drink anything after midnight, my bladder was empty. No drops, nothing. I eventually produced a sample and proved that I was not growing life inside my uterus. I still didn’t have my period yet, but since some girls have been sexually active right before their first period . . . well, yeah.
This was 16 years ago and I still remember what underwear I wore. I woke up and was really groggy, drugs man. I kept stretching my leg and kicking my chart off the stretcher. There was this poor intern who kept picking up my chart and putting it back in the same place. My mom came in to tell me the news after speaking with the doctors. I still remember hearing, “You have Crohn’s Disease.” Well, I had a very important follow-up question, “Where’s my underwear?”
Once my underwear was located I was able to ask the next question, “What the hell is that?”
I was told that the good news is it isn’t terminal and it can be treated, the bad news is Crohn’s is chronic and I will have it forever. I’m going to need more information, I don’t understand. I don’t think my mother really understood, so she was doing her best to explain to her sick and drugged up daughter about a diagnosis that would change my life.
My mom helped me get dressed and my skin and bones appearance shocked her. Sometimes we don’t see these changes in ourselves, it takes another set of eyes. I honestly had no idea how sick I was and how my life was never going to be the same.
